Living with Adult ADHD: You're Not Lazy, Broken, or Failing—You're Wired Differently
- Valerie MacNeil M.Ed., RCC
- May 19
- 2 min read
If you're an adult living with ADHD, chances are you've heard a lot of labels over the years: disorganized, forgetful, scattered, impulsive, unmotivated. Maybe you’ve even internalized some of those messages. But here’s the truth:
You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not a failure.
As a counsellor who specializes in adult ADHD in Victoria, BC, I work with people every day who are smart, caring, and creative—and who are also carrying years of frustration, shame, and self-doubt because they’ve struggled to meet expectations that were never designed with ADHD brains in mind.
What ADHD Really Looks Like in Adults
ADHD in adulthood can be incredibly nuanced. It often looks like:
Having a million ideas but struggling to start or finish them
Being overwhelmed by everyday tasks that seem “simple” to others
Hyperfocusing on one thing for hours while forgetting everything else
Struggling with time, organization, or prioritizing
Feeling emotions very deeply and intensely
Exhausting yourself trying to "mask" or keep up
Most of all, it can feel like you're constantly running a race without a map—always behind, always trying harder, and wondering why it still isn’t enough.
The Emotional Side of ADHD
Many adults with ADHD have experienced years of critical feedback—from teachers, employers, family members, even themselves. Over time, this can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or burnout. You may have learned to hide your struggles or overcompensate just to get through the day.
That’s why support needs to go beyond tips and tools. It starts with compassion. ADHD is not a moral failing—it’s a brain difference. And when we understand that difference, we can begin to work with our brains rather than against them.
How Counselling Can Help
In my practice, I offer a trauma-informed, strength-based approach to ADHD. Together, we’ll explore:
How your ADHD shows up uniquely for you
How past experiences (including trauma or masking) may still be impacting you
Practical tools to support executive functioning (like focus, organization, time management)
How to manage overwhelm, emotional reactivity, and self-criticism
Ways to build self-compassion and reconnect with your strengths
Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have known for years, you deserve support that truly gets what it’s like to live with ADHD.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If any of this resonates with you, please know you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
I offer individual counselling and ADHD support groups (groups coming in Fall 2025) for adults in Victoria, BC. My goal is to create a space where you feel seen, supported, and empowered to move forward in ways that feel meaningful to you.
You deserve support that meets you where you are—and honours all of who you are.
If you’re curious about counselling or group support, I welcome you to reach out. I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.
Contact me today to set up a free consult or to book an appointment.
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